Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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