U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
