if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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