Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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