Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize