Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
