doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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