New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
