i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
