I don't think brook has ever known best
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
