She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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