Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
