he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
