well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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