the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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