How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
