i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
