If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
