My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
