There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
