so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
