But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I cannot find my penis.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
