I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
