He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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