did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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