you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
