Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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