I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
