It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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