That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
