just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
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i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
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I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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