38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
