you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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