I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
