They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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