Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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