Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
