I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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