I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
