dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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