"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
