News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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