Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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