why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
