I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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