5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
