what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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