your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
