Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
