Ketchup is God's man juice
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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