i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
