i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
