the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
you never un-have a 4some
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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