glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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