So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
