It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
