Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
