party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
