I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
you win again, gameday.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
i now understand why vodka
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
