I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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