Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
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