i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
