anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
