C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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