My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
