I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize